Tired of Talking About It: When Therapy Feels Heavy and You Want to Quit

Treasure Talks is a space where we unpack the real, raw, and sometimes exhausting parts of healing. This one’s for the people who’ve ever thought, “What’s the point of therapy if I’m still hurting?”

“I’m just tired of talking about my problems.”

That’s what my client said to me in a recent session, let’s call her Kanda.

She looked tired. Frustrated. Done.

She told me she’s been in and out of therapy before and always gets to the same point: feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and wondering if it’s even working.

And I didn’t take it personally.

Because I know this moment. I’ve seen it in clients who care deeply about their growth but are worn down by their pain. I’ve felt it in my own healing journey. And I’ve learned not to respond with pressure, but with presence.

When Therapy Feels Like Too Much

If you’ve ever reached the point where you wanted to quit therapy, know this: it’s not because you’re weak or broken.

It’s often a trauma response.

Your body has likely carried so much for so long, and sitting with it—talking about it—can feel like too much. Because it was too much at one point.

So when Kanda said she was done, I didn’t push.

I told her, “I won’t force you. Your resistance makes sense.”

I validated the part of her that was trying to protect her from pain.

And once she felt safe enough to explore why she wanted to shut down… something softened.

The Lie of Toxic Positivity

We ended up talking about toxic positivity—the idea that you should always “look on the bright side,” “be grateful,” or “just focus on the good.”

Maybe you’ve heard those lines before.

Maybe you’ve used them on yourself.

Toxic positivity is often well-intentioned, but it bypasses real pain. It teaches us that “bad” emotions are shameful and that we’re failing if we feel angry, sad, numb, or afraid.

Kanda said something that hit me hard:

“I don’t think I ever learned what emotions are actually for.”

And she’s not alone.

The Function of Your Feelings

Emotions aren’t problems to fix.

They’re messengers.

They’re signals from your nervous system saying: pay attention, something matters here.

• Anger is a boundary detector

• Sadness is a signal for loss and longing

• Fear is your nervous system trying to keep you safe

• Shame is often a story someone else handed you

When you’ve spent a lifetime surviving—silencing emotions to stay safe—it makes sense that therapy feels hard. It’s asking you to do the opposite of what kept you alive.

If You’ve Ever Wanted to Quit Therapy…

Here’s what I want you to know:

• You’re not failing.

• Your body is trying to protect you the best way it knows how.

• Resistance is part of the healing, not a reason to stop.

Sometimes therapy feels like it’s not working because you’re finally feeling things you spent years avoiding. That doesn’t mean it’s broken. It means it’s real.

Try It With Me: A Grounding Reframe

If you’re feeling heavy in your healing right now, try this:

Journal Prompt:

“What am I tired of feeling—and what part of me is trying to protect me from it?”

Mirror Affirmation:

“It’s okay to feel. My emotions are not the enemy—they’re information.”

Mini Reframe:

Instead of “Why am I still talking about this?”

Try: “I’m learning to speak what I was never allowed to say.”

You Don’t Have to Be Okay All the Time

Therapy isn’t about constantly fixing yourself.

It’s about learning to feel safe with who you already are—even the messy, overwhelmed, “I want to quit” parts of you.

Kanda stayed.

Not because I convinced her.

But because she realized she wasn’t doing it wrong—she was just doing it honestly.

And sometimes, that’s exactly where healing begins